Freezer Jenga

"Dearly Beloved are you listening? I can't remember a word that you were saying. Are we demented or am I disturbed?  The space that's in-between insane and insecure.
Oh Therapy can you please fill a void? Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed? Nobodies Perfect and I stand accused, for lack of a better word and that's my best excuse..." Jesus of Suburbia, Green Day

What a week. So Much has gotten accomplished I am excited to say I am starting to have a real home.  The shanty is named, BeauCD Castle now, and guess what? Bathroom walls are up. Plumbing is in... Wiring is next step. Then we insulate, put in water heater and toilet... OMG. Progress.  It's a fabulous feeling, let me tell you.  Fulfilling dreams, Seeing painstakingly thought out plans turn into realities.  Watching the excitement in my kids eyes when something new is completed. Showing Eden where her "room" is going to be.  She can hardly wait it start sleeping up there. ;) We finished off a nice Fire pit, and soon we will start building a fence and a deck. As for the title of this blog, freezer Jenga, We get a ton of fish and food from our neighbors. I haven't bought a single filet of salmon since I have been here and we eat it almost 3xs a week. that being said, in order to get it all to fit it is like an adult version of Jenga. What do you put in and pull out (thats what she said) in order to keep it all in there.  Most days I end up taking it all out and restacking. i lose the Jenga game. LOL. It is quite hilarious.  We are living out of a trailer fridge and freezer, and since it is so far away and everything is so damn expensive I have been tasked with making groceries last a week.  Challenge accepted.  Ergo, Freezer Jenga.

This week has had the nicest weather since we've been here too.  We got into the 80's on Wednesday and believe me I took full advantage of it. While Mike our plumber was inside, we were outside, playing, exploring, and having a blast in the intense Alaska Sun. I have horrible sandal stripes now. haha. But, I was told that I needed to take advantage of the sunny days. So, I did. It is overcast cool and sprinkly out today.  On our next nice day, I plan on heading out to Sweet Water Lake. I have been told all the trails here are boarded and really nice. I cannot wait to get out.  Now that I have a system down for the dogs while I am gone it is easier to leave them, and head out with the kids.
I apologize I haven't taken a lt of pictures this week.  While yes, the sun was out, we were pretty stuck around the property, due to the work at hand.  But there are some new ones.
Lukas turned 2. Yep. Full blown Boy.  He is OBSESSED with his dads Blue truck. Every day he asks to just sit in the Blue truck. from time to time Beau goes on a remote dirt road and lets him scream at the top of his lungs with excitement. It is really the cutest thing ever. For His Day of Birth he recieved at Bat mobile car that shoots axes and stuff from his big sister Eden, and from His Aunt Dawn and His Grandma and Grandpa Yoast (They sent money) he got his very own ATV dump truck. Complete with motor sounds.  He now takes small loads of rocks and dumps them all over the yard.  It is pretty funny. He is taking after his Uncle Travis for sure.

Dump Truck. LOL

Too big

First Trip to Grandpa Dans. Luks driving

My Loves

Speedin Eden Peedin from Sweedin

Another Gorgeous Sunset

Our neighbors house during a sunset

Tonights sun. peeking. ... 

Don't get jealous... But I've been chosen for a top secret mission... Testing the new Alaska iPhone..

So my daughter

Colt and Danee

Spike

Ruger

Eden has her very own library card and she is using it almost daily. She is loving reading the "Dear Dumb Diary" series.  I tried unsuccessfully to get her into the books I loved as a kid, "the Boxcar Children" or "Goosebumps". But Like in Everything she is her own little body and she is soaking up all the reading she can this summer.  She also is learning how to build forts and clear brush and chop fire wood.
I am currently going through the seasons of Buffy The vampire Slayer.  Much to my husbands dismay. :) I also, before I left bought a salon UV Nail dryer and some CND Shellac bottles and have been painting my nails.  I am getting better and better wth practice. Hey mom, I have nails. Weird how I quit my super stressful job and my skin clears up, my hair now doesn't fall out (As much) and My nails are growing fast and long. No picking or biting for this girl. I have to file them weekly. Okay, Shellac Helps too. DO yourself a favor, and seriouslly go get a Shellac Manicure. Or Pedicure. My Pedi Lasted 8 full weeks. I just recently took off the one my nail lady Kate Did and now I have Red sparkly toes... Needed them for my flip flops.  I have become quite the fire master.  I split my own logs, I make my own Kindling, I start my own fires. Alaska Woman hear me Roar.  Hunting Season stars next week and I want to shoot a buck. Then I will have venison all winter long. Making venison Jerky and sausage is yummy.  Also, catching a Salmon and smoking it is on the bucket list of Alaska things to do.   Beau has convinced me to make up some jewelry for the local Seafood by the Bay Festival August 10th too, so somewhere inbetween Momming, Mountain Womaning, Drinking, watching Buffy, and cooking/cleaning/laundring I will be making my upcycled Jewels to sell at the local Artist Market. Ugh. Hear my tired?  It should be fun anyways. "Once more with Feeling."  Starting right here next month. :)

I have to tell you something friends, Life is FREAKING AMAZING right now.  I was so fearful of this change. So intimidated, so scared to change and leave my comfort zone. But I have NEVER been happier.  I fell In Love while here...
Love, Funny thing Love is. There's many types and levels of Love... Love at first sight. Love that is fast and scary and seems unreal.  Love that is slow and develops overtime. Love that happens when you love friends. Love of family. A parents love for their children.  Love that happens when you wake up and realize you're no longer in Love, but love that person differently, and Love that is hot, and passionate, it burns and consumes... "Until there's nothing left."  While throughout my years I have felt each of these "Loves", nothing, prepared me for the feeling of loving myself.
I don't mean to sound hoakie... But seriously. How many people can say they LOVE themselves?  To be able to fully love, one must be able to love what they are first.  Learning to love yourself is a process.  Believe me. But I am finally there, and I am stunned.  What  a feeling.
The last month I have really tried to put down what was so crucial to me for so long.  I mean, the last 11 years so many people depended on me and I needed that lifeline always open.  I closed it, and decided to finally take care of me.
My relationship with my husband has flourished.  My relationships with my friends are stronger.  My children are happier, hell even my dogs are happier.
A few things I have learned are to talk to my partner. 19 weeks apart is tough. We both made decisions that will forever change our relationship. Him to come here without me, without a job fully lined up, and Me, to stay behind, eventually giving up a career I excelled at to join him with no Bathroom built and No power...  But we talked through our issues. Where many people may have broken and ended we decided to become unified in our love for our children and each other.  I have fallen in love with Him even more than before.  Watching him, so sure of himself, so sure of his family and what needs to be done to make things happen for us. It's damn sexy. Watching him chop fire wood, be gentle with his kids and his dogs and love me beyond the stars.  It's simple, but I feel that this little space has made us grow closer.  He's the love of my life. I am so glad I don't have to worry about him not being able to process mistakes and issues. Mistakes happen. Miscommunication was our biggest battle, and we were able to wade through the bullshit and become better partners, better friends and better lovers. No Baggage.
 I cannot deal with other peoples crazy. Or Assholes. I've sure met a lot of them in my life. You might be one of them, but I don't have to worry about  him being an emotionally wrecked pathological liar, or an emotionally unstable demon, or someone who doesn't have the ability to take care of me while letting me take care of him. I mean, Exes are Exes for a reason, right?  I am just glad I wised up and am so much better than people expected me to be. I am a fighter.  And Stronger with each passing day.
Okay Okay, I am ending for the week. I will write next week. I promise to pack my camera and stop, even in the rain to take more photos. So many memories built already, with so many more to come.

Leaving you with a Pic of me. Teaching Eden how to use the Rebel. :)))

Big Moments

 

Shawna's Hemlock

"Here's the thing. There are moments in your life that make you. That set the course of who you're going to be.  Sometimes, they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes they're not.
The bottom line is: Even if you see it coming, you're not ready for the Big Moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really, but it does.
So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No.  The big moments gonna come and you can't help that.  It's what we do after it that counts.  That's when we find out who we really are."

These last two weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have written and re-written this blog, but when I read it you can sense the profound depression in my heart.  I have decided that this is not how I want this blog to be.  Shawna would not have wanted me to be depressed, sad, hurt, or angry.  All of which are feelings I felt since learning of her untimely Death.  Take that how you will.  I am thankful she called me to say goodbye.  The last words she spoke to me were, "I love you, There's always tomorrow."  Well Shawna, There is a tomorrow for me.  And I plan to live on loving with the verocity you showed me.  You are laid to rest today. I am sorry I am not there with your friends and family, but you are here with me in Alaska.  Where you said you wished you could move back to. I dedicated a small Hemlock growing at the end of my driveway to her.  She will grow and flourish and provide us shade and shelter from the wind.  This is how I carry on.  I love you Shawna.  I smile knowing you are finally at peace, reunited with your mother and free from the depression you suffered so long.

Now, let me fill you in on my last 3 weeks here.
When I got here, we were able to borrow a trailer from my Father and Mother in Law, so I had a place to cook and shower and go to the bathroom.  It's a small 18ft trailer. Just enough room for us.  We tried to sleep in there the first night, but on the extremely uncomfortable mattress that is only a full size, it wasn't working. :)  The Cabin is a roomy 364 sqft and while there is no bathroom or kitchen, there is a very well working wood stove, and a couch.  So we blew up a queen size air mattress, and we had been sleeping and spending the majority of our day in there, saving the tiny trailer for the above reasons.   I should also note that we had no power. So fire and candle light is all we had to go by. :) Generator power to run our small fridge in the trailer.  To keep our food somewhat cold.
Cooking the first few nights was a lesson in resourcefullness.  You really don't know what you are capable of doing when you have zero items to cook with.  There's no Goodwill near me.  I did however, find out there's a small thrift store called POWER (Prince Of Whales Emergency Resources) that after talking to many people I found on day 2.  I have made several trips there.  It is in Craig Alaska, which is about an hour away.  I found plates, bowls, forks, knives, and a few misc blankets and utensils.  Power is unlike any thrift operation I have ever experienced before.  It works solely on donations.  If you have no money but need something you can have it. I have never been able to have so much treasure with so little cash put out before. But you have to DIG.  There is awesome stuff, and there is total crap.  I think that my second hand store Idea would be PERFECT in a little area where there is none.  Maybe in the next few years I will venture out and make "Once more with Feeling" a reality.
As I have mentioned before, shopping is an hour away as well. There are 3 grocery stores I go to. One in Craig, one in Klawock, and one in Thorne Bay. Sounds ridiculous but we go to the different stores for different items.  I have learned what I need and try my hardest to budget in a weeks worth of groceries.  I actually save money because there's no restaurants near me either.  Other than a small outfit called the Bait box.  But there's only so many burgers you can eat.  And I like my homemade ones better.
Eden has been having a blast.  She has a whole half acre to play on and its got tons of trees and things to explore.  She wants to build a tree fort with Beau for when she comes to visit.  We are trying to make that a reality.  I told her my bathroom and kitchen were the priorities though.  We did however in our first week make it to low tide a few times to find awesome things like sand dollars, and have learned the ins and outs of the Library so I can do things like post to blogs and Facebook.  No power and no TV has been tough. But I think she really has developed from the disconnect.  I know that I have.

Lukas was so happy to be reunited with his daddy. And his blue truck.  Beau's 1976 Ford F250 is Luk's wet dream. He obsesses over the thing. It is the first thing he asks for in the morning, and he gets to take small rides in the evening.  It is hilarious.  Lukas is growing and loving spending all the time with me and Sissy. There are a few parks around here and he is becoming more adventurous on the big slides.  Every time we pass one he yells out for the slide. So, of course if it isn't raining we have to stop. If it is raining there is a brand new school that has a covered playground that we go to.

The first Sunday, a week after being here, we moved the Cabin.  What a landmark feat that was.  We moved it from dead center of the property to the very left.  We plan to build a two story cabin here next Spring and we will live in this one until then.  So getting this one into a location that allowed us to build the new cabin in our perfect spot was necessary.  Randy, local construction owner helped us move it with his tractor. I don't know the technical name of the machine, but there is a pic somewhere I am sure lol
We then had to have the power company come and insert a pole on our property.  That was expensive. After that work was done about a week later we FINALLY got power. The first thing we did was hook up the TV.  Is that bad?  It is a great way to keep Luk entertained. I mean he is obsessed with Bubble Guppies.  I am going to vote No because it allows me to do things like write, dishes, clean ect. 
The 4th of July was a BLAST.  In this smal town of 200 there was a parade that Eden got to ride in.  They also have Kayak races, and a greased pole competiton.  I have never been to a greased pole comp before.  All sorts of "thats what she said jokes" were running through my mind as I snickered at what it was all about, and it actually is a pretty funny thing to watch.  They take a utility pole, or a very smooth log and rub crisco all over it.  They then put a flag at the end of it and the first person to grab the flag wins the pot of money that the crowd has donated. The kids won 100.00 the adults gathered up 1000.00 for the winner.

Eden also got to take a ride on a 6x6. Doesn't she look like she is having too much fun?The rest of the time Has been dedicated to shopping driving and cleaning. Well, I hear my name being called again. I remember my mom getting mad when we would wrestle because one of us always got hurt.  I am my mother.  I couldn't think of a better person to be, but now I understand fully the wrestle concept.  Luk screams. playing too rough.  At least it isn't his hand on the fire place this time. :/Have a great week kids. Tuesday marks the start of our bathroom walls going up. Joy.
Fantago

Week 1. And Done.

"And now I say goodbye to the old me... It's already gone." "You're my reflection, all I see is you."- Mirrors, Justin Timberlake

I'm pretty much amazing.  Bowing. Thank you. I made it.  Not only did I make it, but I traded in my High heels for a pair of flip flops and some Solomons. Yeah. Solomons.  My Perfume is now Off, Deep woods. My Castle is now a cabin and my bathroom a small, but useful trailer.

The week here in Alaska has been hectic.  Trying to make something when you have nothing is a task.  By nothing I mean I left Medford with my clothes.  Seriously.  Setting up a home away from home when the grocery store is 1 hr away and no Walmart is near and EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE is TOUGH.  But I survived week one.  I only almost rescheduled the ferry back once. ;) Just kidding. I did fine.  But, there are some things I learned from the Ferry ride that if you should every take the Alaska Marine Highway you should know.

1. Don't take a dog.  I took 5. What HELL.  They let you down to the car dock once every 6 hours for 15 minutes.  8:15am, 2:15pm, 8:15pm and 12:15am.  15 minutes is not long enough for one dog that is literally scared shitless let alone my 5.  I am sure I looked like a circus act trying to handle all 5 at once.  at least I was entertaining for everyone. Bwahahaha!!

2. Pack food. A cooler with cold cuts, bread, things you can microwave.  While there is no microwave in your room there is one in the "Snack area" and that food is expensive. So do yourself a favor.

3. Get a room. Especially if you have kids.  This will be your saving grace form the insanity that people endure. Like Sleeping with a bunch of people in an area where there is no privacy. For my husband, it was fine. I could not have done it. If you're a single gal or guy, go for it. It was not my scene.

4. Turn off your cell phone- or get a roaming plan.  you do go into Canada. While I had service the majority of the time I shut it off and had the time of my life.

5. Talk to people. Get to know their stories. Let them talk about themselves. Talk about yourself. I met an awesome professional Wildlife Photographer named Buck Shrek and we had some awesome chats about everything.  Check out his website sometime: Buckswildlifephotography.com  I also met a friend who lives on Price of Whales.  Her name is Linda.  We had a "Date" every 6 hours. Yeah, to let our pooches poop.

6.   Spend time on the deck. In the Solarium. Enjoy the nature. Even if it is cold.  The views are breath taking.

7. Bring extra camera batteries.  You won't be able to stop taking pictures.  For REAL.

So Sunday June 23rd we arrived in Ketchikan. Beautiful Tourist spot.  We went around the town. Since We got to port at 7am AST, we had some time to kill, since our Interisland Ferry didn't Leave until 3:30pm. So we immediately went to a lake called Ward lake to let the Min Pins run.  They just about exploded. True. Story.

From There we explored the town, went to have lunch, then got on the Ferry Headed for Prince of Whales Island. We got to see Orca Whales, Bald Eagles and Bears during this ride.  It was far smaller than the other boat and more crowded it felt.  Many people use these ferries to get back and forth to do "Big" shopping.  I have to go back soon.

 We got off in Hollis, and drove the 1.5hrs to Coffman cove where we were greeted by Beau. What an awesome way to end a trip. ;)

I am out of time, kids are calling.  I will try to upload the rest of my pics, esp the one with the Orca that I caught Jumping. Beautiful sights.  Leaving you with a picture of the sunset the other night from Coffmans own Harbor.  The first three are one night... the last Few are the next.  Two breathtakingly beautiful nights. So I got carried away day 2.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  No filters. All just from my lens. Capturing the amazing. Yes, that is Eden, posing.

Oh, and Next I will tell you all about the first week in Alaska.  But it was too much to type in one blog.  I plan to take time to come do this, but right now with no power its few and far between. Thanks for your love and patience.

Peace,
Megan