Big Moments

 

Shawna's Hemlock

"Here's the thing. There are moments in your life that make you. That set the course of who you're going to be.  Sometimes, they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes they're not.
The bottom line is: Even if you see it coming, you're not ready for the Big Moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really, but it does.
So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No.  The big moments gonna come and you can't help that.  It's what we do after it that counts.  That's when we find out who we really are."

These last two weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have written and re-written this blog, but when I read it you can sense the profound depression in my heart.  I have decided that this is not how I want this blog to be.  Shawna would not have wanted me to be depressed, sad, hurt, or angry.  All of which are feelings I felt since learning of her untimely Death.  Take that how you will.  I am thankful she called me to say goodbye.  The last words she spoke to me were, "I love you, There's always tomorrow."  Well Shawna, There is a tomorrow for me.  And I plan to live on loving with the verocity you showed me.  You are laid to rest today. I am sorry I am not there with your friends and family, but you are here with me in Alaska.  Where you said you wished you could move back to. I dedicated a small Hemlock growing at the end of my driveway to her.  She will grow and flourish and provide us shade and shelter from the wind.  This is how I carry on.  I love you Shawna.  I smile knowing you are finally at peace, reunited with your mother and free from the depression you suffered so long.

Now, let me fill you in on my last 3 weeks here.
When I got here, we were able to borrow a trailer from my Father and Mother in Law, so I had a place to cook and shower and go to the bathroom.  It's a small 18ft trailer. Just enough room for us.  We tried to sleep in there the first night, but on the extremely uncomfortable mattress that is only a full size, it wasn't working. :)  The Cabin is a roomy 364 sqft and while there is no bathroom or kitchen, there is a very well working wood stove, and a couch.  So we blew up a queen size air mattress, and we had been sleeping and spending the majority of our day in there, saving the tiny trailer for the above reasons.   I should also note that we had no power. So fire and candle light is all we had to go by. :) Generator power to run our small fridge in the trailer.  To keep our food somewhat cold.
Cooking the first few nights was a lesson in resourcefullness.  You really don't know what you are capable of doing when you have zero items to cook with.  There's no Goodwill near me.  I did however, find out there's a small thrift store called POWER (Prince Of Whales Emergency Resources) that after talking to many people I found on day 2.  I have made several trips there.  It is in Craig Alaska, which is about an hour away.  I found plates, bowls, forks, knives, and a few misc blankets and utensils.  Power is unlike any thrift operation I have ever experienced before.  It works solely on donations.  If you have no money but need something you can have it. I have never been able to have so much treasure with so little cash put out before. But you have to DIG.  There is awesome stuff, and there is total crap.  I think that my second hand store Idea would be PERFECT in a little area where there is none.  Maybe in the next few years I will venture out and make "Once more with Feeling" a reality.
As I have mentioned before, shopping is an hour away as well. There are 3 grocery stores I go to. One in Craig, one in Klawock, and one in Thorne Bay. Sounds ridiculous but we go to the different stores for different items.  I have learned what I need and try my hardest to budget in a weeks worth of groceries.  I actually save money because there's no restaurants near me either.  Other than a small outfit called the Bait box.  But there's only so many burgers you can eat.  And I like my homemade ones better.
Eden has been having a blast.  She has a whole half acre to play on and its got tons of trees and things to explore.  She wants to build a tree fort with Beau for when she comes to visit.  We are trying to make that a reality.  I told her my bathroom and kitchen were the priorities though.  We did however in our first week make it to low tide a few times to find awesome things like sand dollars, and have learned the ins and outs of the Library so I can do things like post to blogs and Facebook.  No power and no TV has been tough. But I think she really has developed from the disconnect.  I know that I have.

Lukas was so happy to be reunited with his daddy. And his blue truck.  Beau's 1976 Ford F250 is Luk's wet dream. He obsesses over the thing. It is the first thing he asks for in the morning, and he gets to take small rides in the evening.  It is hilarious.  Lukas is growing and loving spending all the time with me and Sissy. There are a few parks around here and he is becoming more adventurous on the big slides.  Every time we pass one he yells out for the slide. So, of course if it isn't raining we have to stop. If it is raining there is a brand new school that has a covered playground that we go to.

The first Sunday, a week after being here, we moved the Cabin.  What a landmark feat that was.  We moved it from dead center of the property to the very left.  We plan to build a two story cabin here next Spring and we will live in this one until then.  So getting this one into a location that allowed us to build the new cabin in our perfect spot was necessary.  Randy, local construction owner helped us move it with his tractor. I don't know the technical name of the machine, but there is a pic somewhere I am sure lol
We then had to have the power company come and insert a pole on our property.  That was expensive. After that work was done about a week later we FINALLY got power. The first thing we did was hook up the TV.  Is that bad?  It is a great way to keep Luk entertained. I mean he is obsessed with Bubble Guppies.  I am going to vote No because it allows me to do things like write, dishes, clean ect. 
The 4th of July was a BLAST.  In this smal town of 200 there was a parade that Eden got to ride in.  They also have Kayak races, and a greased pole competiton.  I have never been to a greased pole comp before.  All sorts of "thats what she said jokes" were running through my mind as I snickered at what it was all about, and it actually is a pretty funny thing to watch.  They take a utility pole, or a very smooth log and rub crisco all over it.  They then put a flag at the end of it and the first person to grab the flag wins the pot of money that the crowd has donated. The kids won 100.00 the adults gathered up 1000.00 for the winner.

Eden also got to take a ride on a 6x6. Doesn't she look like she is having too much fun?The rest of the time Has been dedicated to shopping driving and cleaning. Well, I hear my name being called again. I remember my mom getting mad when we would wrestle because one of us always got hurt.  I am my mother.  I couldn't think of a better person to be, but now I understand fully the wrestle concept.  Luk screams. playing too rough.  At least it isn't his hand on the fire place this time. :/Have a great week kids. Tuesday marks the start of our bathroom walls going up. Joy.
Fantago